And the winner of best eBay guitar listing goes to....

[Nick]

This guy

Bravo

*Potential nsfw*

https://www.ebay.com/itm/233672578812?hash=item3667f896fc:g:GQUAAOSwLVZVkrVY

[Randy]

Rare indeed

[playstopause]

Nice butt... ugh neck! I meant neck.

[Shawn]

I guess that's one way to sell it fast. Girl not included though.

[Adam]

[Chris]

Needs a banana for scale.

[schreckmusic]

What guitar??

[desertdweller]

Of course this listing is in Florida.

[Markus]

Needs a banana for scale.

No trem, so no need for bananas.

[RevDrucifer]

Of course this listing is in Florida.

When I first opened it my immediate thought was "Holy shit, is that ********?!", then noticed it's in Boynton Beach, which is 15 minutes north fo me. I clicked through a few pics and I honestly can't tell if it's someone I know or not. She's definitely the type to do this, but she's also the type that would smash the guitar in a thousand pieces for no reason after about 2 hours of drinking. She's the ex-wife of the singer I replaced in a band 8 years ago and she's a fucking lunatic. I shot her a text and asked if the guy taking pics disinfected the guitar after. I'm really curious to see if this is her or not.

[desertdweller]

When I first opened it my immediate thought was "Holy shit, is that Carrie?!", then noticed it's in Boynton Beach, which is 15 minutes north fo me. I clicked through a few pics and I honestly can't tell if it's someone I know or not. She's definitely the type to do this, but she's also the type that would smash the guitar in a thousand pieces for no reason after about 2 hours of drinking. She's the ex-wife of the singer I replaced in a band 8 years ago and she's a fucking lunatic. I shot her a text and asked if the guy taking pics disinfected the guitar after. I'm really curious to see if this is her or not.

Ha holy shit, yeah keep us in the loop, that's funny.

[Nick]

I think we need more of this. Do I want some fat neckbearded guy telling me about guitars or do I just want a brief description of spec and pics like this...the answer os obvious.

[desertdweller]

I think we need more of this. Do I want some fat neckbearded guy telling me about guitars or do I just want a brief description of spec and pics like this...the answer os obvious.

What do you have against Fluff? He seems like a good dude

[Nick]

What do you have against Fluff? He seems like a good dude

[Mattayus]

I'd want at least a grand knocking off that for all the fucking fingerprints she's putting all over it.

[RevDrucifer]

Ha holy shit, yeah keep us in the loop, that's funny.

And no, I’m not taking her up on that. If I were in my early 20’s I probably would have ran to her house. There’s no way I’d get in and out of that situation without some kind of crazy coming my way and I’m all set with that. This is exactly why I’m avoiding alcohol right now.

[Mattayus]

Someone's thirsty.
Never stick your dick in crazy.

[Dominic]

And no, I’m not taking her up on that. If I were in my early 20’s I probably would have ran to her house. There’s no way I’d get in and out of that situation without some kind of crazy coming my way and I’m all set with that. This is exactly why I’m avoiding alcohol right now.

[Nick]

Such thirst

[RevDrucifer]

Yeah, something went wrong with that woman’s childhood. She has all the traits of someone dealing with undiagnosed bi-polar disorder and she’s a heavy drinker, which just makes it worse. I won’t go down the whole history, but her ex-husband had a major problem with me when I replaced him and even after I left that band there was animosity there. It wasn’t until they got divorced that I ran into him at a concert and he apologized for being such a dick to me for no reason, we’ve been cool ever since. For that alone, even if she weren’t batshit crazy, I wouldn’t touch her. He’d probably laugh more than anything but that’s a boundary I don’t cross.

That said, South Florida is full of thirsty humans like this, male and female. This is not the first text exactly like this, nearly word for word, that I’ve received since word spread in my social circle. I won’t even lie about the fact that some of those texts provided some comfort after having my self-worth smashed into the ground, but I’m really avoiding the promiscuity route this time around because in the past, it’s gotten out of control. I’m monk’ing my way through this one.

[DonBot]

Holy shit!

[Chris]

I dunno man, I think you should double wrap it and hit it. Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one.

[RevDrucifer]

I dunno man, I think you should double wrap it and hit it. Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one.

Between her not leaving me alone and my friends telling me to go for it, I’m running off about an hour and a half of sleep right now, but walked in my office doing this-

[jacksonplayer]

What's a little more crazy in your life, right?

[Nick]

Just get a lockbox for your guitars so she can't smash them to dust